The Relationship Gap
Relationships drive everything that happens in life. Teams perform better when the relationships among team members are positive. Patrick Lencioni in his great team-work fable book, The Dysfunctions of a Team (2002), identifies five key gaps in team relationships. These are the absence of trust, fear of positive conflict, lack of commitment, avoidance of accountability and inattention to results. In our teams we must work to bridge these gaps.

In my work I find that there is a little word that rarely crops up in management and leadership literature that is an important key to mending many gaps. The word is called: “Forgiveness”. It is amazing how we can tie our lives to the past and nurse hurts for years. When we hold ourselves to our past we create a gap in the pursuit of our present focus. When we hold on to the hurts of the past we create gaps in our current relationships. Sometimes our pride works such a deep wedge and gap into our souls that we become sour, bitter, boring and sick. In teaching us to pray, Jesus taught that we ought to ask for grace to forgive those that trespass against us. Is it easy? Forgiving may not be the easiest thing to do but it could be the most essential way to mind the relationship gap.

The Focal Gap
Most people do not have any problems with dreaming. In fact many people suffer from having too many ideas and dreams. Scattered thoughts result in a gap in our focus. For ideas to be any useful they must be crystallised. This is where the practice of goal setting comes in. It is not bad to build castles in the air so long as we will realise at some point soon that there is a gap between where we are and our dreams. Minding this gap means developing a deliberate plan of action that we commit to. Focus is always the key to greatness. Anybody that is unable to focus is unable to win.

The Excellence Gap
Excellence is not an event but a continuing quest. Sometimes we get satisfied too early and relax when the match has not even begun. Settling for less than the best is to court mediocrity. The people who demand the best in life often get the best possible. We need to hold ourselves to the highest possible standards. It is self deception for us to dream of being world class while holding ourselves to local village standards. To dance with the elephants we cannot afford to think like ants and play like rabbits.

The Performance Gap
Performance that cannot be measured cannot be improved. We must always seek to raise the performance bar. Past success is never a guarantee of future success. We cannot use an old map to try and navigate new territory. Minding the performance gap means that we should never relax at any level. We must benchmark our performance against the best. At personal levels we must seek mentors that challenge and inspire us to grow. At times we have to get some coaches to help us master key skills. Our obsession must not be with the achievements of the past but with a deep passion to create a new future. When we stop seeing the future we stop minding the performance gap.

The Passion Gap
Life is not meant to be endured but to be lived to the full. At times we are caught up in the cyclone of living that we forget to design a life. We are at our best when we are at the centre of our passion. Yes, we all have to put in a fair day’s work in our lives but I believe that we must have more “heart-work” than “hard-work”. For some people life and work is a mere drudgery – there is no heart to it. This is wasting life. While it is true that we may not always be able to work on perfect projects, with perfect people at a perfect time, it is true that we can change our attitude to our work at any time we wish. As we journey through life we need to find the work we were born to do. Life should be an expression of passion – an expression of what comes out of us easily and naturally.

Pick the dream again
Life can be challenging. There is nothing as disheartening as having a really big and bold dream and not knowing where to start. Some people because of the discouragement they have faced have aborted their big dreams. If you cannot dream why should you sleep? If you cannot wake up and pursue some worthwhile goal why should you wake up?

Life was never meant to be small. Greatness is the birthright of every living soul. Never let your dreams die. Circumstances may try to kill them, adversity may try to choke them but never say die. Pick up your big dream. It is better to die pursuing a big dream than to die small fearing to attempt anything great.

The Apostle Paul is one of the outstanding achievers of all time. It is easy to think that greatness happens without any effort. However, from the life of Paul we learn that giving up on our dream should be the last thing that we should ever contemplate. The New Living Bible in 2 Corinthians 4:8 -9 says, “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going”.

Losers always focus on what they are going through but winners always focus on where they are going to. They turn their big dream into a magnificent obsession. In this same Chapter of 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, Paul shows his resolve to win when he says, “For our present troubles are quite small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever”.

Take action now!
Anyone can dream big, talk big and dream widely. What changes things is nothing more than action. We need to break our big goals into small actionable steps. We must keep the big picture in mind, but we can only focus on the details of the present moment. It is not bad to dream big dreams – when we wake up we must dig the foundation and start pouring some concrete action to our goals if they will be a reality.

The future is just a dream, the past is gone but today is the only asset we really have and that we can use. Our lives must never be chained to the past. They must also never be so focused on the future that we forget to live fully today.

Write New Programmes
Our minds are sophisticated computers. They have a number of programmes that are running in them to direct our lives. Most people assume that the programmes that are currently running in their minds are their lot in life and they do not have any direct control. This is the sure highway to mediocrity. The key to excellence and greatness is to deliberately choose the programmes that are running in our minds. One of the ways to do this is to choose what we repeatedly listen to. There is power in spaced repetition. Advertisers know that repeated exposure affects the mind. We have to choose the music and words we listen to and play. Pity-party songs only imprison us in self-pity and mediocrity.

Another important way of re-programming ourselves for excellence is to positively speak to ourselves. It is not so much what other people say about us that is important but what we say to ourselves. Self-depreciating words may appear to be humility but they are infectious seeds of mediocrity. A very powerful way of programming ourselves for excellence is to declare some positive things about our lives. A declaration is a positive statement that we say in faith about our lives and future even if we may not have the evidence to back it. A declaration is the expression of a resolve for greatness. Positive affirmations are also helpful in programming ourselves for greatness. These are short positive statements that we repeat to ourselves frequently. Some people use picture affirmations where they say something positive to themselves in line with what they desire in some picture that they carry with them. We never leave the fate of our gardens to chance. In the same way success, excellence and greatness must never be left to chance. We have to manage our thought streams.

Set New Goals
Goals are powerful and prophetic. They point the direction to where we are going to and what we are becoming. The key to leaving mediocrity is to set new exciting goals for our lives that take us out of our comfort zone. The comfort zone is always the zone of mediocrity. When we stop having a passion for improvement we start decaying. It is difficult for mediocrity to get a foothold when we are driven by big and bold goals that have deep meaning in our lives. Without goals life loses purpose and meaning. Wasting life by settling for mediocrity is an abuse of life. Life must be lived to the full and to plateau in mid life is personal irresponsibility. Our goals must reflect that we do not intend to camp in mediocrity or but we are charting new courses.

Get Help
Sometimes we are sunk so deep that we need help to move out of the hole of mediocrity. In these instances we must consider getting a teacher, coach or mentor to help us. Knowledge always enlightens. Unless somebody teaches us what we do not know we will always remain where we are. Bishop Tudor Bismark says: “Level one problems require level two solutions.” Most people are more comfortable with old problems that with the embracing of new solutions. It was Albert Einstein who once remarked that the significant problems of our lives cannot be solved if we are still at the same level of knowledge that we were at when we created those problems. Unless we elevate our thinking beyond our past and present circumstances we will never move beyond what we have achieved. Ignorance is the twin-brother of mediocrity. Coaches will always help us to build performance and competence in the areas where we are being coached. Mentors help us build lives. We are sentenced to mediocrity when we feel that we cannot longer receive help from other people. To stop learning is to sink into the abyss of mediocrity. No person who has ceased to learn must be left to wander about unaccompanied because such a person is at risk of mediocrity and is a liability to the future.

Setting Big Goals
Goals have the power to enlarge our thinking if they are big and bold enough. I always believe that we must set goals that are big enough for God to fit in them. Our Goals must be big and bold enough to make God an imperative. In “The 22 Non-negotiable Laws of Wellness,” Greg Anderson says: “When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.” Goals expand our world-view. A life of clear goals is a life in motion. Without challenging goals growth of any nature is just a dream. When we challenge the impossible in life we most often get the best possible. When we attempt the familiar we never grow mentally or spiritually.

Networking
True networking enlarges our thinking and possibility limits. Some people think networking is just collecting business cards and dashing off. It is more than that. Networking is about developing relationships and seeking to benefit others as much as possible. Networking is not just about hunting but farming. When we take time to listen to other people and seek to find ways to help them in business it is amazing how much help we also get. It is amazing how much we can learn and grow our own thinking when we network with like-minded people.

Napoleon Hill compares networking to the wiring together of batteries. In his book, “Think and Grow Rich” he says: “Man’s brain may be compared to an electric battery. It is a well-known fact that a group of electric batteries will provide more energy than a single battery. It is also a well-known fact that an individual battery will provide energy in proportion to the number and capacity of cells it contains. The brain functions in a similar fashion. This accounts for the fact that some brains are more efficient than others, and leads to this significant statement – a group of brains coordinated (or connected) in a spirit of harmony will provide more thought-energy than a single brain, just as a group of electric batteries will provide more energy than a single battery.” To expand our thinking capacity it is important for us to expand our networks and improve on our networking skills.

In his classic book, Think and Grow Rich (1937), Napoleon Hill says that there are six basic fears that hold people back. These are the fear of poverty, the fear of criticism, the fear of ill-health, the fear of loss of love of someone, the fear of old age and the fear of death. Some people of course suffer from a blend of these fears and other minor ones as well. Hill suggests that fear is simply a state of mind and because it is a state of mind we can change it any time we are willing to. This is true because most of our fears depend our state of mind and the meaning we attach to things. The good news is that all of us will have one or more fears at one time or other. However, what makes the ultimate difference is not the fears but what we choose to do about them. If we choose, we can turn our fears into positive stimulants. So how do we then deal with fear?

Doubt your doubts
Most of our fears are not real, except in our minds. Even our real fears are not as permanent as they may look or feel. Fear puts on a coat of mail when we give it credence and veneration. The first step to conquering any fear we may have is to evaluate the validity and the source of the fear. When fears knocks on the doors of our hearts and minds and we dare open the doors in faith we usually discover that there is no one standing at the door after all. Some of our fears are deeply ingrained in our childhood beliefs. Some of our fears are simply too ridiculous that the best thing we can do is to laugh at them. When we start doubting our doubts we usually start seeing new possibilities. There is life beyond any fear that stands in the way of our chosen greatness. Faith is a bridge that can cross any abyss of fear.

Look for a role model
Sometimes the best antidote to fear is to look for a role model – someone who has faced what we fear and overcome. A role model will demystify our fears. There is nothing as enouraging as knowing that what we are facing has been faced before and defeated. Whatever arena of greatness we desire there is someone at some place who has gone through something worse and survived. This is why reading biographies and watching documentaries is so important. Other people’s lives inspire us to face our fears with courage and to challenge our self-imposed limits.

I once watched a story of Morris Goodman who in the early 1980’s survived a plane crush. The doctors gave him no chance of living. He could not walk, talk or eat. For more than six months he was bedridden. For most all hope was lost and if he were to live beyond a week he was just expected to be a useless mound of flesh. Yet, through the power of goal setting and motivation, he was able to rise from his deathbed and learn to walk, talk and eat again. Throughout the time he was hospitalised he would listen to tapes by Zig Ziglar, a leading motivational speaker. While other people feared for the worst, he refused to enherit their fears and give them validity. After, seeing this man’s story I knew that I could work through my life one milestone at a time and tame all my fears. A good story will drive out and cure the most debilitating fears.

The United States of America has a special force called Navy SEAL, who are popular known as SEALs. A SEAL is a soldier who is comfortable in the SEA, in the AIR, and on LAND. Their training is usually the toughest in comparison to other US agents or soldiers. A team of SEALs is usually deployed in areas where other forces have failed to conquer – rescue missions, for example. They move in small groups, and operate under strict geographical coordination, and timeframes. Any slight change may result in mission abortion or loss of more lives than anticipated. This does not come easy.

Often humans get to a certain stage in life and become comfortable that they do not want to go forward in advancing their life or mind. They accumulate certain assets, relationships, habits, and knowledge that keep them busy in a nest like the young eagle. Because they want more, they often find it difficult to attain what they want, and soon throw in the towel. They revert back to their comfort zones after every attempt of venturing into the world. This is so easy.

Discomfort is the only way you can grow faster and smarter as you unleash your greatness. Those who do not enlarge their tent often become traditional, following a way of life and thinking, which they would not easily change. We have all heard people who say “this is how I do things” or “this is how things are done here”. Many a times this is an excuse for those that fear progressive change.

Discomfort is good. It helps you attempt things that you would not normally do, so that you could grow and succeed. Change the way you think about the things that cause discomfort to you. See them as necessary for your sharpening. Embrace discomfort as a tool to lift you up into the place of action. Find comfort in being uncomfortable as you progress in life. Those who often do new things are always uncomfortable, because no one has been where they are going. There are those who move with the crowd – these followers or consumers. There are yet those who move with the cloud – these are trend setters or producers. People who bring revolutionary change are always subject to daily discomfort. They find it hard to fit in, yet are convinced of what they believe in. discomfort is the only comfort they know. They actually feel uncomfortable when men begin to be please with everything they do.

Charles F. Kettering was born in 1876 on a farm in Ohio. As a student he loved to read and to experiment. Maybe that is why he would later say: “Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.” He tried about half the tools on his parents’ farm to find the best way to pick potatoes. After high school he taught for three years in an effort to raise his University fees. He entered University at 22 years of age but had to drop out in second year due to poor eyesight. He then worked as a telephone lineman for several years before returning to Ohio State University and graduating at age 28. Our problems should never deter us from pursuing greatness. We must never let other people’s limited opinions limit our pursuits.

After graduation, he took up a job as an experimental engineer with National Cash Register (NCR). In the five years there, he created a low-cost printing cash register, an electric cash register and developed an accounting system for banks among other inventions. While still at NCR, from his home garage, he invented an improved vehicle ignition system. Spurred by this invention he set up the Dayton Engineering Laboratories Company (Delco) in 1909 with the help of a few friends. That year he got a challenging order for 8,000 ignition systems from Cadillac. This “problem” led to the creation of the first electric starter. Sometimes because we are comfortable with our old problems, we are never elevated to the creation of new solutions. We cannot use an old map to navigate new territory.

In 1916, United Motors Corporation acquired Delco, which was later acquired by General Electric in 1918. Kettering was invited to direct the new General Electric Research Corporation that was subsequently formed. Research deals with creating solutions to current and future problems. Problems are wasted when they are left unchallenged. Kettering himself said that his interest was in the future because that is where he was going to spend the rest of his life. As head of GM Research for 27 years, he spearheaded the company’s product development and acquired 140 patents to his name. His notable achievements included the development of “ethyl” leaded petrol to correct engine knock, the refrigerant, “Freon”; and faster-drying and longer lasting paint finishes for motor vehicles. He also created the lightweight diesel engine that helped improve the moving power of railroads.

Kettering retired from General Electric in 1947 but continued to serve as a director and research adviser until his death in 1958. He received nearly 40 honorary doctorates and a myriad of awards, honours and medals. His legacy lives through the Charles F. Kettering Foundation for medical research established in 1927 and the Sloan-Kettering Institute for Cancer Research founded by GM Chairman Alfred P. Sloan in 1945.

The life of a problem solver inspires greatness in subsequent generations. Kettering bequeathed to us this saying; “You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” Problems are the mineshafts that lead us to the hidden treasure. They are the key to any worthwhile enterprise. Our problems carry with them the seeds for our greatness. Anyone without problems is truly bankrupt because he has no seeds to create a better future.  Our greatness is brilliantly disguised in our most nagging problems.

Mastery determines the value of our personal brands. A brand is simply a name or device that represents products or services from some source. What we have mastered is identified with our names. Andrew Carnegie once advised a protégé and said, “Young man make your name worth something”. We each have the responsibility to master some area of life and to position ourselves in the best light possible and to make our names worth something. Mastery is a master key of personal branding. Michael Goldhaber of Wired Magazine once said: “The attention economy is a star system. If there is nothing very special about your work, no matter how hard you apply yourself you won’t get noticed, and that increasingly means you won’t get paid much either”. Crafting ourselves into brands means mastering our areas of focus with such excellence that we are worth noticing. The world always ignores mediocrity but stands at attention when a person who has achieved mastery takes the stage. When we deliver superior performance and value we become hard to ignore. The antidote to being ignored by life is mastery.

Think Long Term
Masters do not just think of today. They think in terms of developing skill and building capacity for the future. We must never be comfortable with our current levels of performance and we must never be drugged by the accomplishments of the past. We must always seek to raise the bar and be better than yesterday. Mastery is never the end of the road but the beginning of excellence. Masters still have to train and keep fit.

Each of us is the Chief Executive Officer of his or her life. We are accountable for who we are and what we become. True masters are never satisfied with mere competence they are always gunning for excellence. Mastery opens the doors that mediocrity shuts. Greatness and success will never come without effort. Anything that is worth doing and being will always lay demand on our ability. Anything that does not challenge our potential and creativity is not worth doing. Go for mastery the rewards far outweigh the investment.

Who Am I?

A lot of effort is wasted in trying to become that which we are not. The beginning point of greatness is self knowledge. This is why the great thinker and philosopher Socrates once said: “Know thyself!” It is important to cultivate a great sense of self-awareness. We need to know the type of people that we are, how we learn, our energy cycles and what body rhythms affect us. Over time, I have found that my mind is clearest and sharpest in the early hours of the morning. I would get frustrated at school trying to stay up late. We need to invest in learning more about ourselves. We need to tackle the most important and challenging tasks when we are at our best. When are you most creative? When and where do you think best? Each of us must play to our strengths not our weaknesses. The choice of battle field is critical in deciding the outcome of any war.

Physical Environment

Regardless of how much we can try to dispute it we are all affected by our physical environment. We are affected by colour, light, pictures, clutter and everything else that is in the environment. To launch our greatness we need to create an environment that inspires us. If sculpture inspires you find some good sculpture. If plants inspire you find some or go to some good garden when you want to think and create ideas. The pictures that we surround ourselves with create the mood in our rooms. Some aspects of our physical environment are simple and just require modest effort for instance cleaning and order. Somebody once said that a cluttered room is the evidence of a disorganised mind. There just might be a grain of truth in this.

To your greatness

Milton Kamwendo

Pressures of life and business are aimed at making us lose our dreams. Instead of living it is easy to simply exist. Instead of designing a life it is easy to be caught up in the hassles of living. We have to let our great dreams remain alive. Our dreams fuel hope and inspiration in times of pressure. The best way to guard our dreams is to give them colour and life every day through prayer, visualisation, active planning and aggressive action.

Use Doubt Creatively
Doubt is not always bad so long as it is creatively and positively used. One way of using doubt positively is to start doubting our doubts. Beliefs run and can ruin or build our lives. Some people are ruled by negative disempowering beliefs. Others are inspired by positive empowering beliefs. To achieve anything meaningful in life we must start doubting the beliefs that infuse us with fear, timidity and purposelessness. When negative beliefs are doubted, they can be changed. Who said we can not do it? We cannot afford to simply exist in a world so full of abundance where the only limits to our potential are the ones we place on ourselves.

Demand More
The greatest disease that kills people’s potential, stops success and stunts motivation is entitlement mentality. Many people do through life with the expectation that someone somewhere owes them a living. It is bad enough when a person has this mentality, but it is just too terrible if any organisation has this disposition. The key to greatness is to push ourselves to the edge and start demand more – from ourselves and not from others. People who succeed demand far more from themselves than what any boss, spouse, or anyone can demand of them. Those who simply think minimums always get minimums. Those who demand the impossible usually get the best possible.

To your greatness

Milton Kamwendo